I sit and watch

 I sit and watch him
soft silent breathing, and creamy newborn smell.
Relaxed into his onesie cuddle.
Breath up and down, up and down
All the world ahead.

 I sit and watch him now

giggling toddler, and grass tanned face.

Fatigued by play he collapses.

Breath up and down, up and down
All the world a wonder.

I sit and watch him 

out with mates, sneery and sarcastic.

Guarded now, conditioned to control joy, do what's expected.

Breath shallow up and quick down
All the world critical, skeptical.

I sit and watch him

Blinking lights of the monitor, and restraints on his arms.

The head I use to cradle now torn open in mummy wraps.

Heart monitor up, down, down, down

Looking for an exit.